Change
by Lyra Nezvanova
Summary: I want to kill him. I would even settle for letting him kill me, if he’d just let me go. EdxRoy unabashed lusty one-shot. Yaoi.


**Author:** Lyra Nezvanova

**Title:** Change

**Fandom:** Fullmetal Alchemist

**Rating:** T, for sensuality, yaoi.

**Pairings:** RoyxEd

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. All rights reserved to the series' owners, producers, writers, etc.

**Author's Note:**There is yaoi in this fic (if somehow you haven't picked up on it already), so those who will be offended, please click the 'back' button now. An unabashedly plotless, lusty one-shot written on a moment's inspiration by the song "Change (In the House of Flies)" by Deftones.

* * *

I was frozen. What the hell had happened in the millisecond between then and now? Then, he was glaring me down like the hateful, smug bastard he always was, that fire-starting glove that made him feel so damn high and mighty clenched at his side, a small, cruel smirk teasing at the corner of his mouth.

And now…Now, he was here, here before me, pushed against me, those mocking, vicious lips smashed against mine, the iron hand within that fiery glove entwined in my hair with an unrelenting grip that forced my mouth to his.

My arms were pinned against my chest by the crush of his fierce embrace. I struggle furiously, thrashing against his apathetic body, vainly fighting to get my hands free. If I could just transfigure my arm…

I want to kill that bastard. Hell, I would settle for letting him kill me, if he'd just let me go, get away from this- What _is _this?

What happened in that moment?

Oh, God…Just let him kill me. I know he can do it. He knows he can do it. I can feel that cold glove twisted in my hair. I can feel those relentless fingers raking awkwardly against my skin, stroking the strands with a curious callousness. He could turn me into a blazing pyre in a second. He could kill me in a snap. Quite literally.

I clench my eyes tightly shut. Just do it already, you bastard.

But his hand slowly releases its vicious grip on my hair and slowly slides down to my neck. The cool fingers linger there, caressing and restraining at the same time. I know he can feel my heart hammering furiously in my throat. My baited breath hisses from my throat in a strangled gasp, and I suddenly slump against those fastened arms.

I was free enough to clasp my hands together- but I couldn't. Why…?

I'm falling now. From behind my closed eyelids, the world spins and whirls in a hot, blurred, throbbing phantasmagoria of muted sounds and falling motions, silently slipping away. I'm tumbling into this visceral whirlpool of pulsing, quivering, shivering oblivion.

And all the while his warm lips are whispering silent, sweet, cruel senselessness against mine.

This…What_is_ this?

My eyes flicker behind closed lids, and I can feel hot, desperate anguish welling behind them. For one delirious moment, I wonder if he is burning me, transfiguring me from the inside out. I can nearly feel the sinuous tongues of flickering flame searing beneath my skin. They languorously lick within my veins, incinerating my swift coursing blood, scorching my heart.

I think I might be dying. I think I might be dead. Only the frantic, dull thud of my heart in my ears reminds me that I am alive. My body argues otherwise; I slump in his arms like a leaden, dangling doll. But I can't be dead. I can't be dead because his lips are breathing warm life back into mine every time I try to let go.

Let go…

But if I let go now, I think I might not breathe again. And so I don't.

I hurled myself against him. I grip the collar of his coat fiercely and twist beneath the crush of his unfaltering body. For a second, I cry out in shock, because I feel like I've thrown myself against a solid steel wall.

But I surprised him enough to loosen his clutch, and I seize the chance to throw all my weight against him and hurtle him backwards. Yet I cannot stop myself from falling, and now I'm falling, falling…

I manage to catch myself before I'm knocked completely prone against the ground, against him. And now I'm pinning him down, now I'm the one glaring down at him like an arrogant, hateful bastard. As I glower down at him, his face is less than a breath's width away from mine, still grinning that goddamned smug smirk like he knew something I didn't.

"You bastard," I hiss. My breath is ragged and quick.

"Yeah?"

He's still smirking infuriatingly up at me, and I will all the vitriolic venom within me into a baleful, soul withering glare.

Then I smash my mouth against his. In an instant my lips collide so hard against his I can almost feel tiny, burning pinpricks of blood blossoming behind my teeth. But the pain is quickly subdued by the bittersweet, shuddering shock of his fingers gripping the nape of my neck.

I don't even realize he's embracing me rather than restraining me as I fasten my mouth furiously against his. I seize his collar with both my hands and force his mouth upwards to meet mine. In that one moment, I'm alternately cursing him and kissing him, harsh, vicious words of incoherent hatred tumbling from my groping lips between shivering, shallow breaths.

Finally, he shudders and utters a low gasp, and we broke apart. I disentangled myself from his awkward embrace and scuttle backwards frantically to get as far away from him as I could.

Slowly he pushes himself up into a sitting position, resting against the wall, exhaling heavily. He cocks his head slightly to shoot me a sardonic, superior leer.

"You know, Fullmetal," he murmurs, sighing deeply and shaking his head. "You are truly a terrible kisser."

With narrowed eyes, I return his cold gaze, an empty bitterness smoldering dully in my chest.

"What can I say? I learned from the 'best'," I spat back mockingly.

He laughed- a low, humorless sound.

"Always the same hot-headed pipsqueak."

"Arrogant bastard."

For a moment, our eyes are locked, a silent, impassive checkmate. The same cool, haughty smirk still teases at the corner of his hard-pressed mouth. But the disdainful enmity does not meet his eyes.

And I realize I want it to. I want to see that familiar sarcastic contempt, that usual, unshakable lazy arrogance.

_I want you to hate me, dammit._

But I knew as much as I wanted it, it would never be the same again. He would never be the same again.

In that moment, we had changed irrevocably.

* * *

_I watched a change in you._

_It's like you never had wings…_


End file.
